My Friend’s Beautiful Wife

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Both Shawn and me are close friends since secondary school days and we studied at the same junior college, often skipping P.E. lessons together. We will always give all sorts of reasons from stomach ache to leg pain. I think the teacher in charge has given up hope on us and she has been lecturing me about the tough training that I will have to go through in National Service if I don’t prepare myself well. Her favourite line is: “Freddy, you are going to suffer big time next year.” I cannot be bothered as I feel that P.E. is not an important subject as it is after all, not examinable. Shawn does not do as well as me in studies but is much fitter than me. He skips P.E. because he finds it a chore to do stupid exercises and partly, to accompany me.

After the ‘A Level’ examination, we worked on a project to do volunteering work for a home for the aged while waiting for enlistment. In every sense, we are considered good students who excel in our school work but somehow, none of the gals in schools are attracted to us.

Both Shawn and me were enlisted to National Service in the March batch to the same Tekong Camp and in the same platoon and section. When I was there, it was a cultural shock as the ncos and officers communicate with us using lots of vulgarities. I answered back and was told that I should leave my Air Level thinking behind and that they will be there to whip me to shape. I would have talked back more with idioms and nice quotes from the literature books, if not being stopped by Shawn.

During the next three months, I was always picked to appear stupid and scolded for being slow, weak and therefore branded as one who needs more extra duty and extra drill. Being a loyal friend, Shawn is always at my side to support me and encourage me. He did extra drill with me and helped me run errands when he is in mainland Singapore. Shawn is a natural leader and because he helped me, several of the recruits also joined him to lending me a helping hand. Slowly, life in the camp becomes more tolerable as I adjusted my expectations and outlook to the 2.5 years of slavery life.

Unlike me, Shawn did not get a place in the local universities, although he has very good track record in the area of performing arts, sports and games, including leadership. After BMT, I was sent to an infantry unit as an ordinary rifleman while Shawn is sent to the NCO course. At the course, he became buddies with a polytechnic graduate, James. The two got along very well and they went through an even tougher training. Shawn was subsequently selected for the Officer Cadet Course while James was sent for further guards training. For reasons not known to me, Shawn dropped out of the OCS course and he later became a guards NCO and both guys were in the same camp and platoon.

The three of us met up and became closer friends. As none of us have girlfriend, we would spend our weekend in Orchard area ogling at pretty gals and complaining about officers in their case and for mine, it is complaining about the ncos. Nonetheless, over the months, I became physically stronger while Shawn and James remain about the same.

This routine of meeting up regularly carried on for the rest of the NS stint until we orded. I went on to university while Shawn and James pursued a private university degree program. This time, we would meet up at the private university degree campus to talk about gals and school work, which I often helped both of them. During university days, Shawn and James picked up gambling habits and both gambled quite heavily. Somehow, they were quite lucky a few times and had quite a good windfall from betting in overseas betting sites.

Shawn bought a second hand car and James found himself a girlfriend. Her name is Joan. Joan is the perfect angel in both Shawn and my eyes and we swore that if we ever have a wife like Joan, we would skip all the physical contact with world to spend more time in bed with her. She is 1.7 m tall, slim and very demure, yet sophisticated in her looks. I cannot described gals well but she is certainly extraordinary. She is certainly a cut above the rest of the gals and when she is with a bevy of gals, she will stand out as the most physically impressive. I was particularly afraid to look at her in the face because she is so beautiful that I imagine to myself that by taking a longer look, I will lose my soul. Some of those gals which forum bros, including seasoned bros praised to the sky as 9 or 9.5 out of 10 is like 4 out 10, when I benchmarked her with these gals. Maybe my standard is very high after seeing one of the best, if not the best.

After graduating, I got a marketing job and that gave me lots of free time but my income was also dependent on my effort. Shawn started to lose quite a bit in gambling and he sold his car. He was luckier as he got himself a sales job with a medium sized company that require him to travel frequently and in short notice, like one day or half day notice. James got himself a junior executive job as the employer doesn’t recognize his qualification because it is deemed as unworthy given it is distance learning degree. Anyway, Shawn’s employer recognized him as a graduate while James’s employer does not recognize the degree. After about a year, James tied the knot with Joan and bought a new flat from the inheritance he received from his father who passed away not too long ago.

We were invited to his ROM reception and his wife with make-up was even more angelic, more beautiful and more sophisticated than we could have imagined. I think the guests were all commenting on her super beautiful wife. The gown is a tight fitting and Shawn and myself could now guess her figure more accurately. Shawn asked James, when only the three of us were at the table – “What’s Joan statistics?” Shawn and myself have been guessing that she is 33B, 24 and 35. James said that he does not know as he has never violated her before, although he would tonight. He added that he finds her so perfect that he feels extremely guilty if he were to violate her before ROM. James and Shawn are hardcore gambling addicts and they started to bet on Joan‘s statistics. Despite my protest about not gambling, Shawn pulled me into the picture and I am now one of the punters.

If we were correct in our estimate James will buy us a good dinner at Raffles City and if we lose, we will invite several of our common friends, James and Joan for a dinner together. We waited for a week before James finally called us and we met up for a drink after work. I asked him what takes him so long for a simple answer. He just said that it is his honeymoon, without revealing the details and said that Shawn and me lost by a small margin of error. From his face, I can see a tired but completely satisfied look. Something that Shawn said he could not see even after they have completed the most arduous mission in NS.

In the meantime, Shawn betted heavily on the European Cup and lost quite a fair bit. He asked if I could pay me for the dinner in instalments. I told him not to worry about it. I will take care of everything. A week later, we held a catered buffet dinner at a Chalet for about 20 persons, as the list of common friends grew. I have always wanted to give all those who have supported and encouraged me in BMT a treat. Shawn thanked me profusely for paying for the dinner which only added up to about $600, including beers and cigarettes. I am quite a thrifty guy and have saved almost every cent earned. Besides, I have been working very hard for the past one year and my income qualifies me a Gold card, not too bad for a fresh graduate.

The dinner was good and everyone was enjoying the food and all the horny guys, correction, all the guys were given a treat to their eyes enjoying the sight of beautiful Joan. My fabulous seafood buffet seem insignificant in satisfaction value compared to just sitting there and ogling at Joan. Joan was wearing a big t/shirt and a tight shorts, revealing a good part of her flawless and creamy white pair of legs but not her ample blossoms. During the conversations with the guys, they would stopped their conversations half way whenever the distractions appear. I managed to do some self-control and remind myself constantly that I will not get distracted.

Overall, the guys were happy to be invited and very soon, all left except Shawn, James and myself. Joan has left earlier as James would like to spend some time just catching up with us like the good old NS days where we would talked about gals, about bureaucratic and inefficient government policies, about neighbours, about NS colleagues, about the chioness of any passing gals, etc…

The conversation just carried on to football and the latest craze of the European Cup. Instead of a peaceful happy evening together, James and Shawn were arguing like crazy. I never have a soft spot for football because I never understand why people can be excited by looking at a screen of several guys chasing after one ball? Since the two were like quarreling, I stepped in stop the two guys by changing the topic of football to fish ball noodles. That didn’t help because fish ball noodles is not something that interests them. In essence, there is some disagreement about which team will win the next match and both felt that only they know which team will win and no other second opinion will be tolerated. If they are so accurate, I think it is better for them to join the bookies.

Shawn said that he has just taken a credit line and has some good spare cash. He challenged James to a bet of a few thousand dollars. James was quiet for a while. I knew that James will not have this kind of money to bet with him, given that he has spent a bomb on honeymoon and house renovation. Shawn, taking advantage of James’s quietness started calling him names like NATO, coward, etc… This got James really infuriated.

James told Shawn that he don’t bet a few thousand dollars, he prefers to bet $10,000 if Shawn dares. Shawn shot back and said, show me the money and the bet is on. James said that he doesn’t have the money but will offer a night of romance with his beautiful wife if Shawn wins. Both of us were taken aback by his suggestion. Although we secretly lust for Joan, we know our limits and has always treasured our friendship.

James is known as a very trustworthy guy with his words. He always claim that his words is as good as diamonds because it is forever and it can be taken at face value. Shawn pulled me into the bet and said, what about 2 nights of romance, one for me and one for him if we win the bet. I told James that he should not be putting his wife out for a bet and what happens if he were to lose the bet. This has fallen on deaf ears, possibly because the guys have a few drinks too many.

Shawn reminded me that he helped me during BMT, otherwise I may have died from torture and the tough training. He asked if $5,000 was too big a sum to repay him for his kindness at BMT. Basically, he wanted me to be part of the bet. I said okay if this will repay all his kindness and he is not to mention any more of those I owe him this and that in future. I was rather pissed by him but was quietly happy inside me that I bought a chance to bonk Joan.

The result showed that Shawn won the match. James was devastated and said that he needed time to talk to Joan about this bet. Shawn was overjoyed with the opportunity to bonk Joan. I was also very happy with outcome but decided that it is a wrong thing to do, if we really make James pay for the part of his bet. I told James that Joan need not sleep with me and I am a very difficult person to satisfy. It is better not to spoil the friendship. I also urged Shawn to give up his rights in the presence of James but Shawn was very reluctant and said that he needed time to think about it. James thanked me and left.

Two days later, James invited Shawn and me to his place. When we were there, he spoke to Shawn and me about the bet and offered his apologies that he is unable to fulfill his part of the bargain. He offered to pay each of us $5,000 as he had lost the wager. I told him what I said earlier that there is no need to pay me because I did not actually intent to bet with him. I have only betted with him on the coercion by Shawn and it would definitely be a dream come true to bed a beautiful woman like Joan. The way I talk is like I will not bonk Joan but another beautiful lady like Joan will be fine. I said that we are not animals but humans and humans can be subjected to logic and good reasons. This is not the right thing to do and I also urged Shawn to give up on his part of the wager. Shawn said that he would be prepared to receive $2,000 instead of $5,000 as a gesture of goodwill, citing that he must receive something reasonable or else luck would curse him in future where he would not win anything. Maybe our ‘pan tang’ friends can verify if this is true.

At that moment, Joan came out from the kitchen with 4 glasses of barley, unfortunately in the normal home clothes. I guess she must have overheard our conversation and perceive me as a perfect gentleman. As I was sitting at the outer part of the sofa, I was served first by her. Her natural aroma was much better than the aroma of barley, so sweet and so natural. Very different from some sickly thick perfume that some gals put on that make guys like me feel like vomiting and grasping for fresh air, outside their perimeter of contamination.

Joan sat beside her husband James. In order not to embarrass anyone, I changed the topic to furniture and renovation and it ended up on personal human qualities. Each of us spoke about personal qualities and when it comes to James turn, he just mumbled something, not his usual I am a man of word, my words are gold, etc… Kind of stuff. When it is Joan‘s turn, there was unusual quietness and she said that she wants to be good wife that supports her husband and she said that if we want to bet about her, we have to seek her consent. This made Shawn and me feel a little embarrassed about the whole wager.

She said that her husband is a man that is true to his words and she doesn’t want to see her husband eating his own words. That shocked me quite a fair bit.

She said that since you guys like to bet about football, why not give it another shot and bet with them (i.e. James and Joan), two versus two to balance up the luck factor. She said that if they (James and Joan) lose the bet, she would keep us (Shawn and me) company for a week and I could even offer her to my friends but all that is lost by James is forfeited. If she (James and Joan) win, all that is lost by her husband is forfeited and we can hug our bolster to spend the night. James nodded in approval. Shawn asked if she is serious and James said yes, while hugging Joan.

Again, being the good guy, I said that I have already forfeited my rights to the previous winnings and do not want to bet on anything more. Shawn cried out and said to me that I am a coward buddy because luck would be against him in a ‘One versus two’ scenario. Shawn pleaded with me without avail and later on, Joan asked if I am really prepared to be excluded? Her words caught my imagination and I said since all of you want me to be in, I will just be in. I am not sure of the details of the bet and was told that it is unlikely that we will win the bet because the odds are set by James. Joan also doesn’t follow football matches. Before leaving, Joan thank me for being a gentleman, I replied that exteriorly I try to be one; but deep inside me, I am very naughty and hard to please. She just smile and said – “Really?”

And yes, we won the bet because Greece became the champion, something that is unexpected. Shawn watched the match and was overjoyed by the results and he called me to inform me of the outcome. Shawn wanted to meet Joan the next day but he was unable to complete his office assignment and has to work over-time for the next few days. I booked a hotel in town through a friend who can gave me a good discount. It would normally cost $300 per night but I am able to have it for $150 with breakfast for two thrown in free and we could also use the luxurious spa.

I was eagerly awaiting for the Big Day in my life, which is 5 days later. The first night, I even woke up in the middle of the night as the thought of spending time with Joan is a dream come true, but I told myself it is only 5 days away and I am counting down like crazy. I put myself on a tight routine of exercise and nutritious food, trying to forget about the coming paradise. For the next 5 days, I am going to live healthy, totally on vitamin pills, milk, fruits, vegetables, and only lean meat, with two bottles of Brand’s chicken essence every day without fail. Shawn on the other hand has a very hectic 5 days of over-work. I did not contact James until the fourth day. He was quite dejected but said that a bet is a bet and both Joan and him will honor it. From the conversation, I could also sense that James seem quite troubled and I asked to meet him on the evening of the fourth day, one day short of a 7 day heavenly paradise for Shawn and me.

On the fourth evening, I reminded Shawn to apply for leave and visited James and Joan at about 6:30pm to find out how is everything. My purpose is to feel the ground temperature as I do not want to cause any major discomfort to the couple of which the session with Joan would become mechanical and she could easily have turned round to cry rape. That would be worse. I caution myself that guys are always at the losing end when it comes to this type of cry rape cases.

Shawn could not join us on the fourth day evening as he is still busy working overtime. I bought some fruits with me when I visited James and Joan. When I met James and Joan, both appeared to be very troubled and at that moment, I feel a deep sense of remorse for causing this couple to be so upset. James in particular is signing away. I offered James that I will speak with Shawn and buy him some woman from Geylang streets in compensation for the wager. After all, I think Shawn may not be able to appreciate beauty as ordinary PRC Geylang Street gals, he already salivate like crazy. I told the couple that although I don’t have the full confidence of convincing Shawn as he is looking forward to it, I will try.

I told Joan that buying Shawn some street gals for a week would probably set me back by a few thousand dollars and it is no big deal and we could dismiss this as a joke that the three of us played on Shawn if he disagree. Joan did not said anything and I sense that there is something more that is bothering her and it must be with James, since she is always so concern for him. I carried on by saying that, for your sake, I am willing to risk my friendship with Shawn and she must have known from her husband that I am one who treasures friendship a lot.

She just said that James had a case. I turned to ask James to speak more to me so that I could help him. He was initially reluctant but ultimately blurted all his frustration. Briefly his boss, who had always dislike him had given him the sack for some reasons relating to lack of self-confidence and being unable to work in a team (i.e. Basically just finding a reason to fire him)and has threatened to make a police report about him stealing and giving some company’s secrets away to competitors. The case is quite complicated, it is about him seeing information that he should not see and talking to his company competitors what he should not be disclosing. As James is a junior executive, he also played the role of his boss personal assistant and in his quest to learn more about the company, he started reading every file including confidential files. In one of those industry gathering, he started talking with people and divulging to strangers, thinking that people will be impressed and will call him for interviews for more senior positions. This backfired and his boss get to know about it and started all the troubles he is currently facing at work.

I am not a lawyer by training and could only share the sadness for his predicament. He lost his job and he still has bills to pay and he could possibly go to jail or be slapped with a heavy penalty on top of losing his beautiful wife to be screwed by possibly many men for a week. During the conversation, he told me his boss is Albert Tan (i.e. The name has been changed) and Albert used to be my OC in the camp. I realized that Albert has left the army and is working as a manager in the office. I am still in touch with Albert occasionally and I was the one who gave him private tuition including helping him with his project and assignments so that he could pass his distance learning Ang Mo university Master degree program. He has always been thankful towards me and has shown me great reverence though he was the OC and I am only a humble soldier. That’s why my complaints are with ncos and never with the officers. It is the ncos that are jealous of me in the camp.

Anyway, I telephoned Albert over the phone, chatted with him generally before I brought up James problem. He was initially adamant about sending James before the Court but was persuaded not to pursue the case provided James write a letter to the company, attention to him, and a letter of apology. However, James would still have to lose his job. I shared with James the good news and he actually hug me and hug me real tight for being his savior at a moment of crisis. I actually wished that it is his wife that hugs me. I can see the joy in both their eyes.

I immediately helped him typed a letter of apology and get him to sign it including promising to post the letter for him. It was about 9pm then. I told the grateful couple that there are always greener pastures. I hope they don’t take it that I am transforming them from humans to cows. I said that I have a supplier that is looking for an Administrative Assistant Manager as his staff has left him. I always keep my customers and suppliers contact number in my hand phone so that I can keep in real close contact with them in order to get the best deal for my company. That is probably my secret to successfully managing and expanding my customers and suppliers network.

I telephoned my supplier, Steven and he said that he is dire need for an administrative manager. I misheard him, I thought that he is looking for an assistant manager. Anyway, he trusted my judgment as he sees me as very honest and upright guy who values friendship. I briefed him about James and his experience and he said okay to hire him without meeting him. This is because he would have to travel for a while and will be back only in about 2 months’ time and he will leave word with his GM to coach James in the meantime. James also has a $700 raise from his last drawn pay.

I shared with James and Joan the good news and from their expression, I feel that I am like God to them. I am actually God fearing guy and therefore would not want to think of myself as so great. On the spot I quickly send an email to Steven copy to James and Steven’s staff, Joy, who is the GM of the firm. Actually, when it comes to hiring, these small companies can be very flexible in their hiring policies. After all, nobody matters in the company except the big boss himself and the key customers and suppliers.

James and Joan were quite shaken as all their problems seem to be solved by me or rather by a stroke of good luck. I am surprised myself that I managed to solve so many problems at one goal in such a short time. I guess this will be the first and last time, I won’t be so lucky in future.

James asked me how he can thank me. I was speechless and was trying to catch a glimpse of Joan, so close yet so far. I think both James and Joan saw my eye move a little to look at Joan. He said to me that I have done them enough favors and tomorrow Joan will be there for me. He sought of beg me to treat Joan well for the next 7 days and that he will miss her. Joan in her usual crisp sharp sweet voice said that I am a good man and it is her good fortune to see how a perfect gentleman is like and to keep me company. Her husband said he has no regrets that Joan sleeps with me, although there is still discomfort.

I bid them good night, took the letter that was to be posted and told Joan to have a good night rest and I will see her at Hotel Marina tomorrow at 12 noon for lunch and then check in. I also told James and Joan that if they decide to change their mind, before noon tomorrow, it is still possible and that I will take good care of Joan if everything comes true.

Surprisingly, I slept soundly throughout the night. Maybe, subconsciously I feel that I am now very deserving of the good 7 days of rest or work (Depending on how forum bros here view it) ahead. The saying of one good turn deserve another is really working miraculously here.

I woke up very early in the morning for my ‘usual morning jog’ at a sports complex near my home. Normally, I don’t jog if not for the preparation of mission – Heaven Exploration. After that, it is a sumptuous breakfast of toast bread with two half boil eggs and a bottle of Brand’s Essence of Chicken, poured into a steamed frog. This is a dish that I thought would be befitting of what is to come, an ugly frog eating swan’s meat. The mandarin version is better and clearer. For non-Chinese speaking readers, you can check with your Chinese speaking friends for the Chinese translation.

I contacted Shawn and he informed me that he will be on half day afternoon leave today and will be sharing with me his manhood enhancement drink later. From the tone of his voice, he seem to be looking forward very much to the coming rendezvous. I have applied for leave from my boss for nine days so that when I return from heaven to earth, there are two days to rest and get over the heaven earth divide. I also spent part of the morning speaking to Joy, the GM of my supplier’s firm to confirm the starting date for James. Joy is traveling to Kuala Lumpur for business the next day and would like James to come along so that he can get to know the business networks there. Immediately, I contacted James and arranged for him to meet Joy in the office to sign the letter of employment, including informing him about the coming trip for him to KL. He was excited to find a job so quickly and it is also his first business trip.

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